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Post by Colette on Mar 5, 2010 20:06:49 GMT -5
This wasn't easy. To come here, knowing what was going to be said. Well, from her side anyway. But she felt she needed this. She needed to move on from this one mistake that seemed to follow her everywhere. Every time someone looked at her, she felt they knew. Felt they were torturing her for it. It was her mistake, but she wasn't alone in the blame. It was.. an accident. She walked into the mansion quietly, standing in the foyer, eyes searching. Swallowing hard, licking at her lips she moved slowly to the couch near the stairs and took a seat. " Andrua.. we.. we need to talk?" She shook her head, placing a hand to her forehead. " How am I suppose to say this?" |
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Post by Andrua Thomas on Mar 5, 2010 20:40:08 GMT -5
Andrua had just had one of the best work-outs in her life. She had forgotten how strenuous swimming could be. But it felt so good. Especially after being cooped up inside for a week and a half. Freakin' flu. She never wanted to hear the words "H1N1" ever again. Stupid pigs; what did she ever do to them? Andrua chuckled to herself at that as she moved to the front living room, tousling her short hair with a towel. It was getting longer actually, long enough that it needed to be tied back, and she found she liked it that way. Made her feel a little softer, a little more feminine. She wondered if Benson liked it... Not that she would know since she had barely seen him at all. Rolling her shoulders, Andrua slumped onto the couch. She missed him. Hated to admit it (since she was a strong, independent woman and all that), but she really missed her fiance. He had been a little weird since they had gotten back from Pompeii. And then he pulled his disappearing act and... She sighed. Whatever. She would see him soon enough, she supposed. Maybe he just needed a little space to adjust to being engaged? Or something. She wasn't (too) worried. From the foyer, she heard a voice speaking softly. "Andrua.. we.. we need to talk? How am I suppose to say this?" Was that... Was that Colette? Andrua was so excited to hear the professor back in Biella she barely heard the actual words. She knew Colette had been popping into Biella but with being sick and all Andrua had missed her every time. Not this time though. Andrua bounced off the couch and cantered into the entrance hall, wide smile on her face. "Co-Lee!" she called enthusiastically. "Hi! I've missed you!" She was moving in for a hug when she caught the depressed manner of her mentor's posture. Her face dropped immediately as she moved to sit next to her. "What's wrong?" |
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Post by Colette on Mar 5, 2010 20:53:03 GMT -5
"Co-Lee!" she called enthusiastically. "Hi! I've missed you!"
If her head flew any faster, it'd... fly off, literally. She forced a smile to Andrua as she bounced into the foyer. "Hey." She started. "What's wrong?" Oh god.. She closed her eyes, working through it all in her mind. "Ha, where to start.." She sighed, raking a hand through her hair as Andrua sat down.
"Okay.." She breathed, taking Andrua's hands. "You're gonna have to work with me on this, otherwise.. I won't say what's needed to be said.." Cause I'm a big wuss! She told herself.
"We.. we need to talk, Andrua." She started softly. "About.. Benson."
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Post by Andrua Thomas on Mar 5, 2010 21:20:25 GMT -5
"You're gonna have to work with me on this, otherwise.. I won't say what's needed to be said.."
Andrua's brow furrowed as he listened to her mentor speak. Her initial concern doubled at Colette's words. "What's needed to be said"? What did that mean? Had something happened? Was something wrong? Was someone hurt? Her mind immediately spun to Laura and then Charles and then the twins and then Ainslie and Dean, Harm, Parker, Cian, Emma... Fuck, Benson. But she forced herself to remain calm. Because she didn't know what was going on yet and it could be anything.
"We.. we need to talk, Andrua." She started softly. "About.. Benson."
That certainly sounded serious. Andrua's mind immediately went to Benson's recently odd behavior. Was something wrong with him? "Benson?" she asked, voice a lot less secure than she would have hoped. "What about... Is he okay? I mean, nothing's happened to him, right?" One hand dislodged itself from Colette's to plunge into the back of her still-damp hair. Her fingers moved through the humidity-formed curls, weaving them around nervously.
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Post by Colette on Mar 5, 2010 21:27:29 GMT -5
"What's needed to be said?"
This was going to be hard. "Alot.." She knew she was being vague. But at the moment, she was loving vague. She wanted to pause time and live in this moment. Wehere Andrua still liked her, still looked to her as a mentor. Cause there was no way in hell, she'd be seen the same way after Andrua was told.
"What about... Is he okay? I mean, nothing's happened to him, right?"
She licked at her lips. "No.. no, he's-he's fine." She smiled faintly, nodding. "Um.." She wanted to die.. to just die right here having left everything unsaid. Unbroken. "Andrua.." She finally broke through the silence.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to see her face when it registered. "I.. I slept with Ben." There.. it was out. Funny how this feeling deep inside had yet to leave. Her brows furrowed as she slowly opened her eyes. "Drua.. I'm so.." She shook her head. "So.. so sorry."
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Post by Andrua Thomas on Mar 5, 2010 21:48:24 GMT -5
"I.. I slept with Ben."
Andrua blinked.
Inhaled.
Exhaled.
Blinked again.
"You...what?" she asked shakily. Her mouth was suddenly dry and her head dizzy. She hadn't heard anything past the confession and when it hit her that it was a confession, that Colette had done something worth confessing the bottom fell out from under her. Her breathing halted a moment then before speeding up.
She pushed off from the couch, rising and immediately moving into a pace. "You what?!" she repeated, mouth working after, searching for words that couldn't be found. "I..." She trailed, licking her lips and looking to the ceiling. "Please... Tell me your joking, Colette. Tell me this is all some horrible joke that you and Benson cooked up to fuck with me." That would suck but it would be far better than the alternative, the reality.
She didn't really expect a retraction. Deep down, she knew one wasn't coming. It was long past April and this wasn't a "Fooled you!" moment. Andrua swallowed with some difficulty and shook her head. "When?" tumbled from her lips. "Why? How could you?"
She collapsed dejectedly onto the couch, dropping her elbows to her knees, her head cradled in her hands. What the fucking fuck? And of course it had been with Colette.
That made it a million times worse.
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Post by Colette on Mar 7, 2010 16:25:08 GMT -5
"You...what? You what?! Please... Tell me your joking, Colette. Tell me this is all some horrible joke that you and Benson cooked up to fuck with me."
Her stomach did flips inside of her as she watched Drua move away from her. Her head dipped down, not knowing what to say or even do. It wasn't like they had planned it.. But still, it was wrong. She knew that.. "I'm sorry." She offered gently, brows knitted.
"When?" tumbled from her lips. "Why? How could you?"
He head stayed low, and it felt like the world stopped in that moment when those words left her mouth. "Two.. weeks.. ago." She closed her eyes. "Dru, I never.." Her eyes opened, tears welling in them as she starred at her.
"It wasn't planned, Andrua. It.. just." Her head fell as a sigh escaped her lips. "Happened.. I know you don't want to hear it, and if you want.. I can leave." She said, turning slowly and pointing at the door. "I never meant to hurt you.. or anyone.."
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Post by Andrua Thomas on Mar 7, 2010 16:37:01 GMT -5
"I'm sorry."
She was sorry. Well, so was Andrua. What the fuck[/i]?! Why did it have to be Colette? Why her? Anyone else... It wasn't veen that Andrua had started to see her as a older-sister figure or something. No. It was that she had known that Benson had carried a torch for her. For quite a while. But Andrua thought... With her... She thought he was over that, completely. He was with her after all. Told her he loved her. Asked her to marry him.
But apparently she wasn't enough. Not enough for him. Because she had gone to fucking Colette even after them being together and... He had still had it for her, even throughout their whole relationship. Fuck!
"Two.. weeks.. ago." Two weeks. Two weeks and Benson hadn't told her; just kept avoiding her.
"Dru, I never... It wasn't planned, Andrua. It.. just." Her head fell as a sigh escaped her lips. "Happened.. I know you don't want to hear it, and if you want.. I can leave." She said, turning slowly and pointing at the door. "I never meant to hurt you.. or anyone.."
That was all well and good but it didn't answer any of her questions. And it had happened. It had and it shouldn't have and they both should have known better and...shouldn't have fuckign slept with each other. She groaned low, tugging at her hair a little.
And then the tears started. And Andrua hated herself for it but she couldn't help it. "Christ, Colette," she babbled, tears coursing down her cheeks. "What were you..." She wiped at her face harshly. She didn't even know what to say. What did you say when something like this happened? "We're supposed to get married..." she said quietly, twisting the ring on her finger.
Shit.
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Post by Colette on Mar 7, 2010 17:14:07 GMT -5
Quiet.
Silence, it was killing her. Slowly, she looked up. Watching as a million different emotions showed on Andrua's face. God.. she felt terrible. It felt like someone was taking a knife, jabbing her with it right in the heart, and twisting it.
Worst thing in the world.
"Christ, Colette," she babbled, tears coursing down her cheeks. "What were you..." She wiped at her face harshly. She didn't even know what to say. What did you say when something like this happened? "We're supposed to get married..."
She couldn't hold it in any longer, the tears ran down her face. "I'm so sorry..." She mumbled out. "I never meant for it to happen." She said softly, wiping at her face just as harshly as Andrua had.
"I was lonely, and upset.. and alcohol was involved." She paused, swallowing with great difficulty. "You gotta know I wouldn't have done this if it wasn't for the alchohol."
Sure, that was no excuse. But it was the truth.
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Post by Andrua Thomas on Mar 7, 2010 17:27:10 GMT -5
Great. So Benson had been drunk on top of everything. Andrua didn't know if that made it better or worse. Because it wasn't just alcohol. Colette had been lonely and upset. So what? Was Benson lonely too? And upset? Upset over what? And she had been sick, sure. He couldn't sleep with her 'cause she had the flu so he just hopped off to the first girl he could find?
Christ, she could just throttle him.
"But it did happen," Andrua said, breath coming hard. Her head was pounding from the crying. "You didn't mean it and it was an accident and you were drunk. But it still happened." Andrua didn't even know what to do with this. What did this mean for her and Colette? Fuck; what did this mean for her and Ben?
Was everything he had ever told her a lie? He loved her, he wanted to marry her, he wanted a family with her, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her... Shit. She didn't even know anything any more...
Andrua pushed off the couch again, moving to lean against the stair railing. Her body slumped gracefully, barefeet toying with the threads of the carpetting. "I...don't even know, Colette. I mean... You were so much to me. And..." And she slept with her fiance. It hadn't been out of spite or anger or to hurt her but still... How was Andrua supposed to trust Colette after this?
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Post by Colette on Mar 8, 2010 5:44:00 GMT -5
"But it did happen," Andrua said, breath coming hard. Her head was pounding from the crying. "You didn't mean it and it was an accident and you were drunk. But it still happened."
It seemed every time Andrua spoke, she cried. Not just because she felt horrible for what she had done, but for everything. For screwing it all up. Screwing up her relationship with Andrua, and Andrua and Ben's relationship. Not to even mention her own marriage..
"I know." She cried out, running a hand through her hair recklessly. "Andrua.. " She sighed, closing her eyes a moment. "I can't even express how much this has fucked everything up, and how sorry--I truly am." She breathed out quickly, wiping at her eyes once more.
"I...don't even know, Colette. I mean... You were so much to me. And..."
Her heads covered her face before sliding down to rest at her sides. She sucked in her lips, biting down so hard, she thought she tasted blood. "I know.." She whispered, her heart pounding. "I know and I'm.. so beyond sorry, Drua.. It's been eating and eating at me.. and I knew I couldn't--live. Not without telling you myself.."
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Post by Andrua Thomas on Mar 14, 2010 0:03:44 GMT -5
Andrua could see that Colette was truly sorry, that she regretted everything that had happened. It had all be one huge mistake. Suddenly all the anger rushed from her body, leaving her feeling old and worn-out and disappointed. Shoulders slumping over her hips, she slid down the wall, landing sprawled to sit on the floor. "Fuck," she muttered, elbows propped on her knees.
She wasn't over it. Not by a long shot. And she certainly hadn't forgiven either of them. Not yet. But she had at least been able to accept it now; get it through her head.
"I know and I'm.. so beyond sorry, Drua.. It's been eating and eating at me.. and I knew I couldn't--live. Not without telling you myself.."
Andrua shrugged, eyes still on the carpet in front of her. "Yeah," he murmured softly. "At least you told me. Fucking Benson..." Fucking Benson had just avoided her. Coward. Oh, she couldn't wait to get her hands on him. She was gonna tear him apart. Her mind flicked through all the mental images of what she could do to him and slight malicious smile breached her cheeks.
She suppressed that quickly though and looked to Colette. Swallowing, she wiped the mostly-dry tear-stains from her cheeks. "S'okay, CoLee," she said softly, barely audible. Her chin trembled a little and she bit her tongue. She was crying over a boy. But not just any boy. She was crying over Benson, her fiance, the boy she had thought was her "the one."
She didn't want it to be over with him... But how could it not be after this?
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Post by Colette on Mar 16, 2010 15:41:31 GMT -5
"Fuck,"
Colette ran a hand through her hair, turning away a moment as Andrua slid down the wall to sit on the floor. "Yeah," he murmured softly. "At least you told me. Fucking Benson..." It felt like someone's arm was inside her chest, squeezing the hell out of her heart. Like it was some kind of fruit that gave juice.
Her brows furrowed, a hand over her chest as one hand came up, covering her mouth a moment before she slid down the wall, plopping down right next to Andrua. "S'okay, CoLee," How was it okay? None of this was okay...
She swallowed roughly, finally opening her mouth to say something. "No it's not, Drua." She stated softly. "If anything it's far from okay. Too many people are getting hurt because of this... mistake. I can sit here and tell you not to blame Ben, but I know.. you won't listen. You'll blame him, because you and I both know... you should blame both of us."
She took in a shaky breath, her head turning to look at Andrua. "I'm sorry." Another tear fell from her, and she simply shook her head. "That's all I can offer, I know--nothing can be the way it was.. not now.. not anytime soon.. But I am sorry. But don't blame just Ben, Drua.."
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Post by Andrua Thomas on Mar 16, 2010 16:08:38 GMT -5
"No it's not, Drua." She stated softly. "If anything it's far from okay. Too many people are getting hurt because of this... mistake. I can sit here and tell you not to blame Ben, but I know.. you won't listen. You'll blame him, because you and I both know... you should blame both of us."
No, it wasn't okay. But Andrua was already exhausted by this. She just wanted to go up to her room and cry for a good few hours. She didn't want to have to deal with the fact that her boyfriend, her fiance, had slept with her friend and mentor. Fuck!
She just shrugged at Colette's plea to blame both her and Benson. She was so much madder at Benson for this. Sure, they both had partaken in the activities. But Andura had put more of her trust in Benson than she had in Colette. He was her fiance. And he had fucked up. And then left Colette to tell her about it.
"I don't even fucking know, Colette," she said softly, lost.
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