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Post by Lena on Apr 3, 2010 21:51:24 GMT -5
Lena stared at the result with uptmost shock. She couldn't think she couldn't breathe. Everything she ever worked for had just been sucked down the drain. How could she be so stupid? How was she going to deal with this? Abortion. Could she really kill a child that didn't have a choice....but could she raise a kid? By herself....knowing Jude he would never help her. There was always adoption, but that meant carrying the child for nine months. What was she going to do. Trying to gain her breath back, her heart finally starting functioning correctly. She sat on the edge of her bed trying to comprehend what she would do. She wouldn't tell Jude....there was no way she could do it. He was such a player....every night was a new girl and in between those he would crawl back to her or her to him. It was a never ending cycle. The last few times the condom broke. He would whisper those reassuring words that he had pulled out before it happened....but she knew better. She knew better and yet....she did it anyways. Why did she fall for him so easily...and why did he have to see completely past her to every other girl in New York. She was going to have to leave the house. That was for sure. She couldn't hide it from him when he lived under the same roof. Where would she go? How would she pay for somewhere else to live? Taking a deep breath she felt herself began to tear up. Within minutes she was sobbing. Her life was ruined. She loved a guy who loved women...and now she was pregnant. A little child was growing inside of her....she was going to be a mother...if she kept it. Why was her life only taking turns for the worst. |
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Post by Jude on Apr 3, 2010 22:01:36 GMT -5
Believe it..He stayed up way too late last night, playing some video games with other guys around here. His mistake. Cause now he felt like his eyes were never going to open. He felt the weight of Felix jumping back up on his bed, licking at his neck. " Nooo." He groaned, pushing him away. "Look, Jude. I gotta go!"His eyes opened slowly. " Felix.." No.. he was just dreaming. Cause; there was no way his dog was talking to him. His brows furrowed as she hsook his head and closed his eyes again. "I GOTTA GO NOW!"He jolted up from his bed, Felix running towards the door. " Wha--" He looked around. "Yo, boy. Over here.. gotta go!" Felix scratched on the door, whining softly. " Felix!?" He nearly shrieked, jumping out of his bed. " How--Why--" His mind was reeling. " Yeah.. can we.. talk about this later, kid? Before I relieve myself all over your floor." He slowly moved towards the door, letting him out into the hall; watching as he raced down the stairs. "Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta--woah! excuse me!"Jude stood there, completely stunned. " What the fuck just happened?" Without even the sligtest hesitation, he started down the hall towards Lena's room. He knew Felix would get let out into the yard by one of the students... and besides; if he didn't, he could just come tell him.. This is fucked up.. He knocked his secret knock on her door, opening it up right afterwards. " You won't believe what just happened to me.."
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Post by Lena on Apr 3, 2010 22:26:48 GMT -5
Lena heard the knock and instantly she leaned back to hide the test. It was too late the door was open and she was caught mid way to her pillow. She turned to him the test behind her back using the other hand to wipe her tears. Shit, shit, shit, shit...
Lena tried to straighten up as good as she could. "What..." She cleared her throat. "What happened?" She asked her face emotionless. There was no way she could force a smile not at a moment like this. He was smiling and it hurt her inside. He was so happy, and if he found out about her....he wouldn't be.
She dropped the test behind her and brought both hands forward to wipe her face.
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Post by Jude on Apr 3, 2010 22:38:10 GMT -5
"What..." She cleared her throat. "What happened?"
His hand already came up to his head, ruffling his hair as he stared at her. Was she just trying to hide something? His eyes took a good look at her, seeing tears on her face. He swallowed hard, his tongue loosely escaping his lips to lick them. "What's.."
She looked upset, like she'd been crying for a good minute. "What's wrong?" He asked softly, brows furrowed as he walked towards her. "Y'know you can tell me right?" He told her gently, taking a seat beside her.
All the while; forgetting about what she was trying to hide.
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Post by Lena on Apr 3, 2010 22:53:03 GMT -5
Lena couldn't sit next to him already nausea was stirring inside of her. She didn't know if it was because she was scared or if it was morning sickness, but either way she had to stand.
Standing up she stood in front of him. "Jude...it's nothing." Her eyes widened as she looked back to the bed. The pregnancy test laid face up next to him. She swallowed the lump in her throat her eyes tearing up.
It was over. He had to find out...of course he would find out like this. The day she needed to herself he came barging in. Did she leave it on the bed because she wanted him to see?
Part of her did. She knew that was the reason she left it out in plain sight. The next question was what would he do when he saw it?
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Post by Jude on Apr 3, 2010 23:13:58 GMT -5
"Jude...it's nothing."
He watched as she jumped up, brows furrowed as tears came to her eyes. He weighed the shocked look on her face, and followed it to the bed. Sitting there, face up, was a pregnancy test. His mouth went dry, and he could feel his heart pounding louder and harder against his chest.
One hand limply reached out, picking it up. 'Pregnant' Not knowing the breath he was holding, he let out a large gust of wind escape his mouth. He couldn't...He.. He sucked in his lips, bringing a hand down his face, covering his eyes.
"Ho--" He couldn't. He just couldn't speak. Couldn't move. Felix knocked the door open, walking inside. He looked to Lena, and then to Jude, his head tilting like all dogs heads do. "Who died?" His hand dropped from his face, and he quickly rose. "Not now, Felix.. go." He opened the door, pointing to the hall.
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Post by Lena on Apr 3, 2010 23:22:03 GMT -5
Lena didn't know what to do. After he stood up her knees buckled and she fell to the floor. "I...I'm sorry.." Why was she apologizing? He was the one who did this to her...That was a lie. She wanted sex just as bad as he did.
"I..." She could speak. She began to sob into her hands. There was nothing she could say to make this better. Nothing at all. She couldn't stop sobbing. She knew she looked weak. She looked like a cry baby....
Everything was shaking and she felt her whole life crumble. What was she supposed to do. How was he going to take this... obviosuly not well.
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Post by Jude on Apr 3, 2010 23:36:45 GMT -5
"I...I'm sorry.."
Both his hands went through his hair, tugging, yanking as he groaned. This couldn't be happening! He was careful! Yeah, there was those few times when it broke--but he pulled.. "Fuck." He muttered, breathing it out.
He could hear her crying. And though part of him wanted to comfort her, another part of him saw his life flashing before his eyes. All this was shit. His entire life. All the girls--all the fucking time? He turned away, pacing back and forth in front of her bed.
"No." He said abruptly. "I'm sorry, this is my fault." He threw at her. "That one night.. I don't know when--I was drunk, remember?" His hands finally dropped to his side, as he turned and looked at her.
Not even a second later and his hands were back in his hair. "I'm sorry.."
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Post by Lena on Apr 3, 2010 23:48:42 GMT -5
Seeing him freak out wasn't helping her at all. She stood up and straightened up wiping her face. "Look....I'll take care of it don't worry...." She bit out. She didn't want to be harsh, but it was only how it should be. She didn't want to ruin his perfect life of partying and fucking.
"I'll be gone by tommorrow and you can pretend we never met okay..." She spoke with a shaky voice. "Because we both know we can't raise a child together....and if I chose adoption...I don't think I could sit her while I got fat and you brought home some skinny pretty girl..."
Already the hormones were kicking in, but she was a normal sarcastic bitch. Her being pregnant just made it ten times worse. Her eyes teared up, but she didn't let them fall. She was done being weak it only gave her more reason to try to cuddle up to him...and that was the last thing she needed to do.
She loved him deep down....it was a sick lustful type of love, but she still loved him. And staying here while she watched him getting with only New Yorks finest would kill her....
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Post by Jude on Apr 4, 2010 0:20:14 GMT -5
"Look....I'll take care of it don't worry...."
He whipped back around, looking at her as if she'd lost her mind. "What do you mean 'you'll take care of it'?" He asked, brows furrowed. "Lena, I--" God damn--fucking shit! Couldn't he take a minute to take this in? She had one at least--and tried to hide it from him! "Why--You were going to hide this from me?" He nearly laughed, turning around. "Oh my god.."
"I'll be gone by tommorrow and you can pretend we never met okay..." She spoke with a shaky voice. "Because we both know we can't raise a child together....and if I chose adoption...I don't think I could sit her while I got fat and you brought home some skinny pretty girl..."
"What the fuck?" He breathed out, eyes wide. "You can't--" He groaned, hands balling into fists. "You're not." He stated firmly. "Can you just---stop?" He said, closing his eyes, hands held up as if he was surrendering.
"Can just just--fucking chill a god damn second?" He looked to her. "Wrap my fucking brain around this shit."
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Post by Lena on Apr 4, 2010 14:10:09 GMT -5
He whipped back around, looking at her as if she'd lost her mind. "What do you mean 'you'll take care of it'?" He asked, brows furrowed. "Lena, I--" God damn--fucking shit! Couldn't he take a minute to take this in? She had one at least--and tried to hide it from him! "Why--You were going to hide this from me?" He nearly laughed, turning around. "Oh my god.."
Lena felt her body start to tremble as she stood in front of him. "What the fuck do you think I mean by 'taking care of it'..." she paused looking him dead in the eye. "You don't expect me to actually have this child do you?" She asked pointing at him. "I don't see you dropping your life style to become world's greatest fucking dad..."
Taking a calming breth she dropped her head feeling the lump in her throat rise as the tears formed in her eyes. "I'm sorry..." She paused. "It's just what was I supposed to do Jude..." She looked up her eyes now filled with tears. "This wasn't exactly my plan for my life....getting pregnant at 17 and all..." Looking down at her feet she wiped her face.
"What the fuck?" He breathed out, eyes wide. "You can't--" He groaned, hands balling into fists. "You're not." He stated firmly. "Can you just---stop?" He said, closing his eyes, hands held up as if he was surrendering.
"Then please....Tell me what I'm supposed to do..." She was at her breaking point. Lena was sop used to be strong on the inside, and everything she once was, was starting to crumble all around her. "Jude..."
She paused listening to him.
"Can just just--fucking chill a god damn second?" He looked to her. "Wrap my fucking brain around this shit."
"Sure..." She sat on the edge of the bed her knees folded to her chest. She sniffled slightly as she watched him pace back and forth some more.
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Post by Jude on Apr 4, 2010 20:58:45 GMT -5
"You don't expect me to actually have this child do you?"]
He wanted to shout back, but refrained. "I don't see you dropping your life style to become world's greatest fucking dad..." He growled softly as the worlds rolled off her tongue. "Ain't no one perfect, Lena!" He threw back, his eyes softening as soon as the words escaped. "Look.. I'm--I'm sorry." He sighed.
"Then please....Tell me what I'm supposed to do..."
His hands went to his hair again, groaning as he tilted his head back. "I don't know." He groaned out slowly, letting his hands drop down to his sides again. "Sure..." His head turned, watching as she sat down on the bed.
Neither of them wanted this. But it happened, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let her give the kid up for adoption or.. god forbid; abortion. He sat down next to her with a sigh. "I know." He sighed, wrapping an arm around her.
"I'ts not like we have to decide today, right?" He said softly, looking onto her eyes. "Do you promise not to do anything reckless until we both decide what's best. Not just for us; but.. for the kid."
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Post by Lena on Apr 4, 2010 23:51:18 GMT -5
"I'ts not like we have to decide today, right?" He said softly, looking onto her eyes. "Do you promise not to do anything reckless until we both decide what's best. Not just for us; but.. for the kid."
The comfort of his arm around her made her relax only a tad. She looked up at him her eyes glistening with tears. "Jude..." She paused feeling herself choke up. She leaned foward resting her head on his chest as she began to sob. "I promise.." She mumbled into his chest. Her chest shuddered with each sob that came out.
Why did she have to be the one to have to go through with this? There was so many other people out there that deserved a child....why was she the one chosen? Feeling herself begin to choke on her own tears she pulled away wiping her face and sniffling. "Sorry.." She muttered as she looked at his chest that was now very very wet.
"We can't raise a kid...." She looked at him her eyes now puffy and red.
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