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Post by Harmony on Nov 18, 2009 19:55:47 GMT -5
So hard...to do what? Forget? Move on? Harmony replayed different combinations of what she should do next in her head. There were so many possibilities that she came up with. Suicide? No... She had children and Dean as a person would never want that for her. She sighed taking a large chug of whiskey. She sat the glass down breathing out slightly as the burn flowed down her throat. She looked pale, almost dead. She had eaten in about two days. Her eyes were swollen and red rimmed from all the crying she had been doing lately. She sighed placing a hand to her temple as she replayed everything that happened the past few days. Her husband...The father of her children was dead. Never to walk the earth again and it was all her fault. it had been her fault in the first place. If she hadn't been so damn nervous about her wedding her adn Dean would have never kissed...therefore Harmony and Dean would have never been seperated. That in term would mean that he wouldn't have been there during the pregnancy to offer his life to a demon to save hers. It was all..everylast bit of it..was her fault. She gave a gesture to the bartender and he walked over with the whiskey bottle. "Don't you think you've had enough of this strong stuff? A lady like you should be drinking a fruity drink..." The bartender said this with a devious smirk on his face. Was he seriously trying to flirt with a woman whose eyes were still glassy from crying. She looked up into his eyes. "I don't know...you tell me what you would do if the love of your life just died..." She snapped pointing to the glass of whiskey. "Please?" She said almost nicely. He poured her drink slowly. She smirked slightly and the guy walked away gaping like a fish. Harmony look at the amber liquid in the glass and just flicked her wrist causing the liquid to more in a circle. The movement amazed for only the slightest second. With the flick of a wrist everything can change... Her eyes teared up at the thought and she downed the whiskey. |
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 20:05:36 GMT -5
Something was up with tonight. It was strangely mellow here. Nobody was cavorting about, gripping the crotch or ass of anybody else. Maybe because it was Tuesday, and not Friday or Sunday. Either way, something had moved her to perform Bless the Broken Road not an hour earlier, and now she was working on In His Eyes from Jekyll and Hyde. Something about this song... Who was she kidding? She knew what caused her to decide to pick this song. With her being out of work because of Mo's recent birth, she needed to get out and express herself somehow; get these feelings out. She had good connections with the managers of a few bars in town who allowed her to perform, and she took tonight's opportunity with a certain lust in her eyes. A blonde head of hair caught her gaze and her heart sank. She knew who it was. Closing out the song, she stepped off the makeshift stage (it was a platform with a piano, microphone, and speakers) to go grab herself a drink. |
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Post by Harmony on Nov 18, 2009 20:32:48 GMT -5
Harmony managed to pay for the whole whiskey bottle by digging in her purse for a few dollars. The bartender handed her the bottle and she grinned taking a large swig.
The next thing that happened made her choke on the wonderful liquid she was consuming. Emma.... She turned her head slightly and looked. It was she was up at the bar. Harmony gritted her teeth and forced herself to stay where she was.
She sipped more from the bottle and tried to block out everything around her and numb the pain. The pain that kept rising and rising until eventually she began to tear up once again.
The reason for all her hard ship was a few seats down from her at the bar. What could she do about it? She could be immature and throw things at her, but that would be the drunk person in her. She would sadly miss, and look like a fool.
She took a deep breath and continued to stare at the bottle, yet her mind was not in the bar. Her mind was wrapped in Dean's arms on a big comfy bed for eternity....but that would never happen agian..
Thanks Emma...
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 20:38:17 GMT -5
The bitter, crushed emotions raining on her were coming from the woman she had made note to stay away from, knowing that she wouldn't be happy with her, especially if she knew why Dean had died. The man behind the bar asked if she wanted service, but she denied him with a shake of her head, eyes fixed on her hands folded on the counter. Should she open up, and say something? Or would that only upset the other?
Her stomach churned. She was here, Mo was here. Emma was supposed to be dead, not Dean. It was supposed to be the other way around...
What was she thinking? Maybe Harmony didn't even know. Maybe drinking was her way of dealing with the loss. Not a smart choice, in her opinion, but that wasn't her place.
Standing, Emma went up to the woman with the tear-stained face. "Harmony?" she started softly. She didn't wait for a response, continuing. "I'm...so sorry about your loss."
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Post by Harmony on Nov 18, 2009 20:54:03 GMT -5
Harmony kept her face towards the bottle. She didn't waste her time acknowledging that Emma was standing next to her. She lifted the bottle to her lips and took a chug. She wiped her lips softly. She turned ever so slightly to look Emma in the face.
She let herself take in the tear-stained cheeks and the saddened look on her face, she also gave emma time to take in how bad she looked, and how mad she was about to look. She burrowed her brows and pursed her lips.
"Your s-sorry?" She slurred the word, but she knew what she was saying. "You shouldn't be sorry..." She raised her voice a little with each word. "Afterall your alive...aren't you?' She looked her up and down. "You look pretty alive to me...maybe you should go apologize to the man who sacrificed his life for you..." She snapped her voice louder than a regular tone.
"And no honey I'm not talking about Jesus...I'm talking about my husband, the father of my children, my love..." She said the last word with a cold edge that could slice through paper. She tipped her head back and chugged more whiskey. She wipped her mouth and gave Emma a dirty look with a hateful grin to match.
Harmony was being possessed and it wasn't by a demon. It was by the pain and anger...and maybe a little whiskey.
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 21:01:36 GMT -5
Her words caught her off-balance, and she frowned, looking at Harmony for a long time, not knowing what to say. This is what she had been struggling with all this time, and now, to hear it from Harmony. God, she knew. She knew what Dean had done... He wasn't just dead. He had been sacrificed.
"Harmony," she began softly, slowly, "I didn't ask for him to do that for me. I only told him that I knew I was going to die because of complications with Maura's birth. I..." Emma took a breath, finding it hard and ragged. "I never wanted this for him. Or you."
Tears perched in her eyes. "If I could apologize, I would." She dropped her head, looking at her shoes. "I'm so sorry, Harmony."
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Post by Harmony on Nov 20, 2009 23:12:56 GMT -5
Harmony shook her head. She took a deep breath as the tears kept forming in her eyes. "What do you expect me to say? Your forgiven? Never." She spat back. "What do you suppose if you apologize that God will forgive you and will let you sleep at night..."
Harmony wiped her eyes. "No Emma it doesn't work that way. Just because you say your sorry it doesn't make it all happy fucking dandy... It makes it worse..." She paused. "You know why becuase it means you know what happened was your fault and that your sorry for being the reason for all the bad shit that happened to someone..."
She took a deep breath holding back a sob. "Me being the someone. YOU RUINED MY LIFE...and that..." She paused giving a sick giggle. "That can NEVER be forgiven." She took a chug of the whiskey. "So take that apology and shove it up your ass..." She turned away for her chugging about a quarter of the bottle trying to drowned the words she just spoke.
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 20, 2009 23:26:49 GMT -5
"Never."
Her breath stopped short in her throat and her face paled to something resembling a porcelain doll. Bypassing the lump in her throat, she gripped both of her hands with the other, sweat forming instantly. "I don't expect anything of you. Or God. I-I'm not even sure God exists," she confessed, tears coming up in waves into her eyes.
"...your fault... ...for being the reason for all the bad shit that happened to someone..."
No. Fuck. Yes.
"I know!" she cried, holding her hands out, as if to receieve forgiveness from the woman she took...everything from. "I know it's my fault. I'm not happy about it, I didn't tell him to do it." The heat rising to her cheeks consumed her thoughts and she could only think about what her Empathy was locking onto. She wished she knew the name of the demon Dean compacted with. She'd give herself for the return of him now.
Fuck, this was her fault...
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Post by Harmony on Nov 22, 2009 18:13:58 GMT -5
Harmony smirked, but her eyes held the worst sadness. She finished off the whiskey and sat some money down on the counter top. She stood up. "So before I drowned anymore in my sorrows I think..." She paused trying to stand up straight. "I think I will drive myself home now..."
She began to walk towards the door, but she kept stumbling and toppling into the wall. She took a deep breath and pushed herself to stand in an upright postition. She began to cry.
She couldn't stand, she couldn't think...and now the tears were casuing her to not be able to see. She slid against the wall and sat on the ground. She put her head in her hands. She sobbed uncontrollably. She couldn't stand her life anymore. She couldn't live like this....
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