|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 11:53:54 GMT -5
The sharp intake of breath caught her attention and she let go of the muscles in her neck to let her head drop down to the side as she watched Cian struggle with being awake--or let go of his struggles of being asleep. Moving a stray hair from his forehead, which was salted and wet with perspiration, Emma was about to ask him if he was okay, but he beat her to the chase.
As if she was the one who needed to be worried about again.
"Fine," she replied, moving closer to him, as if to hear the nickname again. "Bad dream?" she turned the tables, looking up at him, finding that not even her eyelids were asking her to sleep yet. She was too awake to think about the mere thought of drifting away.
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 18:42:26 GMT -5
He let out a long sigh before nodding. Holding her against him, he replied, "Yeah. Bad dream." Letting his eyes slip closed, he settled back down. One hand took up a steady rhythm over her arm, rubbing up and down slowly. He took comfort in just knowing she was close to him. Just her presence eased his mind and body.
Relaxed and comfortable, but not exhausted, Cian decided against falling back asleep right away. Emma seemed more than awake and he was content to spend a little time awake with her. "What's keepin' y' up at this hour then?" he asked through a yawn.
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 19:53:43 GMT -5
Eyes soft, she kept them on her husband's face, occasionally letting them slip down to watch her hand trail over his chest, up to his shoulder to squeeze lightly, as if to relieve the tension that was making his muscles tight. "What about?" she asked, referring to his dream. Nightmares were all too familiar with her. Not that having them frequently as a child--and who was she kidding? As an adult, too--made them any less scary, but they had become easier to deal with.
It was her dreams that she later realized were visions by her precognition that were really terrifying.
Sighing, as if her breath was weighted by the troubles of the world itself, Emma pulled her lips in slightly. "Just thinking," she said, though her answer could be nothing but. "About...kids." Why was it harder to bring up the topic of children now than it was before?
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 20:00:56 GMT -5
Cian's brow furrowed as he thought about his dream. It was getting fuzzy, tenuous threads of images and flashes of scenes. Hard to remember. "S'weird," he summed up. "Post-apocalyptic New York City with ever'thing desolate and des'rted." He shrugged and sighed, pushing it from his mind. Not like he had premonitions. He just needed to quick watching SyFy channel so much.
"Kids?" he questions lightly. "Out kids?" Maura and Oliver. Cian smiled down to her.
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 20:09:33 GMT -5
Her hand trailed down to his hip, fingertips just poking underneath the elastic of his boxer shorts, not doing anything premiscuous in particular--just resting against the warmth of his skin. Head on his inside shoulder, Emma sighed, brows pulling together at the sound of his dream. "Sounds really scary," she whispered, trying to picture it. Empty, in ruins, dirtier than it already was.
Nodding, she pressed closer to him. "Yeah. Our kids." But not just Maura and Oliver. "The ones we don't have, too. Yet, I mean."
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 20:22:39 GMT -5
"Yeah," he agreed, musing over it. "Just a dream, though." Okay, so usually their dreams weren't just dreams. But his were. Besides, Armageddon? Wasn't likely.
His mind was a little slow from just waking up so he didn't understand at first. "The ones we..." he repeated, trying to work it out. "Oooh," he drawled, understanding. He licked his lips as he thought it over. "More, you mean?" He wanted more. Of course he wanted more. But the pain of pregnancy and... Fuck, she had died.
He wasn't sure.
[[feels crappy, sorry]]
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 20:35:42 GMT -5
"Yes, more," she spat out, moving her head away a little, to give him his space to think over this topic. Not that they had to mull over it this early in the morning (late at night?), but she knew the moment she stuck it in his head it would stay there at least until the morning.
Swallowing thickly, she kept her hand at his side. "In the future, at least. What...what do you think?"
((It wasn't. Mine was, sorry.))
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 20:53:47 GMT -5
He hummed lowly. "I...would like more, Emma. But..." He let it trail off, wondering if he should continue. They both knew what he was getting at. But he found he had to say it. "But I don't want to lose you. Or have you go through all that pain again."
He pulled her closer to him, resting his chin atop her head. It truly was an impasse. They could always adopt, sure, and maybe they would in the future. But it wasn't the same. At this point, though, unless they found sure-fast way to make it, if not less painful, then at least safer for Emma to carry the baby...he wasn't sure he wanted to risk it.
He had two beautiful babies. He was happy with his life. he would like more, of course. But he could handle whatever came their way. "Do you?" he asked. "Want more, I mean."
[[no it wasn't lol. there just wasn't a lot for you to go on.]]
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 15, 2009 21:02:56 GMT -5
Immediately she nodded when he trailed off, as if she knew exactly where he was going. She rubbed his side soothingly, ushering him to continue, tell him that it was okay for him to say whatever he needed to. Still, even with this, his words caught her by surprise. "But, Cian, if that's what it takes, then...I think I'm okay with that. The pain. Not dying."
Perhaps three times was a charm--but what kind, she wondered? The kind that would be the least painful and finally take away the torture of carrying a baby, or the kind that would finally do her in?
Not unsure about her opinion, but wary about the kind of effect her answer would have in Cian, she stated lightly, tip-toeing around the words, "Yes. Eventually. Obviously I still want time to recover from Mo, and I want a few years with just her and Ollie, but..." She winced, shrugging, tone stabilizing. "You come from a big family. I've always wanted kids."
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 15:34:02 GMT -5
"But, Cian, if that's what it takes, then...I think I'm okay with that. The pain. Not dying."
Cian shook his head, one hand rubbing at the side of his face. "Yeah, but I don' know that I'm okay with letting you. It was hard enough to watch you go through it with Mo. Now that I know what could happen, what did happen..."
"Yes. Eventually. Obviously I still want time to recover from Mo, and I want a few years with just her and Ollie, but..." She winced, shrugging, tone stabilizing. "You come from a big family. I've always wanted kids."
Cian nodded his agreement, pulling her closer to him. "I'd like more, I would. But..." He sighed. Tucking his chin in to his chest he met her eyes. "Time with jus' Oliver and Maura is a definite. And maybe...we can cross the bridge of more kids when we come to it?"
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 16:58:47 GMT -5
Her mouth slid to the side of her face and she sighed, holding her head up with an elbow pressed into the pillow, hand on the side of her head. "But I toughed through it," she defended weakly, not wanting to get into a huge argument about her previous bodily conditions. What was done was done, though she knew it could happen again, and was aware that that was his worry exactly.
Being pulled closer, Emma tried to tilt her head so that she could get a better look at him, but his face was down. "Of course, just time with them. I'm not rushing into anything. Jesus, we've only had her a month," she scoffed, trying to lighten the air, but it proved futile. Swallowing hard, she saw he didn't want to get into this conversation as much as she did, and nodded. "Yeah, sure. Of course."
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 17:08:01 GMT -5
"Of course, just time with them. I'm not rushing into anything. Jesus, we've only had her a month."
Cian grinned down at her at that. "She's perfect," he mused happily, absently. "Nifty abilities, too. I hadn't thought of it before but remember the day you told me y' were pregnant? When Sai punched you?" Anger simmered just beneath the surface but he let it dissipate, only expelling a little extra body heat thanks to his pyrokinesis. He would kill him still, eventually. "Mo healed your nose then, too."
He sighed a little, knowing she wanted to discuss it further. He just couldn't see a solution coming any time soon. He wanted to think on it a little more before discussing it with Emma more. "We'll figure it, Em-n-Em," he promised, dropping a kiss to her head.
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 17:15:33 GMT -5
Her face fell with disappointment at the memory, but she nodded and allowed with a tiny smirk playing at her lips, "Yes, I remember." Oh, the many things she could have that man locked up for--she didn't know what held her back. The hope that he might see Ollie again one day? The fact that she still had memories that were very much attached to him? Who knew...
A brighter smile came over her face, as if she had just had the most wonderful epiphany. "I bet you you're right," she agreed with a nod. "Who would have thought? And she was only a few weeks alive."
Laying her head back on the pillow, she nodded once more, though she didn't exactly think that they were going to come to an easy solution like they had about things before. She had a feeling they were going to hash and flush this out many a time before they finally settled on one thing. There were just too many things to take into consideration; too many aspects of this situation before a solid decision could be made that they were both happy with.
"I hope so."
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 17:35:19 GMT -5
He sighed contentedly and nodded. "We make awesome babies," he stated, smirking a little. Letting his eyes close softly, he settled back further.
"Full confidence in us, Emma love," he said. "Just need to take time, think it our proper." He stretched a little then, fingers inching up to play in her hair.
[[sorry short!]]
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 17:40:15 GMT -5
Emma erupted in laughter, nodding, because Oliver was clearly a product of Cian. They were a mirror image of each other in different lights. Watching his eyes close, she put her head beside his, watching his form before even thinking about shutting her own eyes. "Full confidence," she echoed, settling into the touch to her hair.
|
|
|
Post by Oliver on Nov 17, 2009 17:42:31 GMT -5
((To keep this going...small, adorable children time!!))
Maura constantly crying had woken him up, and now he couldn't go back to sleep. Tumbling out of bed and landing hard on his feet, though he was happy to be in his choo-choo pajamas, Oliver started for his parents' room at full speed, stopping short at their door, hearing slight whispers. They were awake? Well, good. Maybe they could read him a story.
Pushing open the door, he tip-toed toward the bed, tugging on the top blanket, unable to see over it. "Up, pease!"
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 17:57:00 GMT -5
Cian grinned, twirling Emma's hair over his fingers. The door opened then and a little figure moved through the shadows. "Up, pease!" Cian chuckled and reached over the edge of the bed. Scooping Oliver up, he dropped the boy on his chest gently. "Hello, lad. Couldn't sleep?"
[[Maybe I'll bring Mo in next, possibly. She could hear them talking, get jealous and teleport herself into their room. XD]]
|
|
|
Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 18:00:48 GMT -5
Shaking his head, Oliver laid down on Daddy's chest, never once questioning why they were still awake. Mommies and Daddies got to stay up late--he just wasn't sure how late it really was. He wished Uckle Dee was still here. He was funny. He gave him marshmallows and read him stories and played with him. But, now...
Heaving a sigh, he put his head down. "What joo talkin' bout?" he asked, wanting to get his mind off of it.
((kk.))
|
|
|
Post by Cian Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 16:08:35 GMT -5
[[Whoa, Emma's name is green now... Totally threw me. lol]]
Cian smiled softly, rubbing his son's back gently. His entire body relaxed, having his son close to him. He loved this little boy. "What joo talkin' bout?" He coughed gently and passed an amused look to Emma. "Boring grown-up stuff, Ollie," he answered simply.
[[gah, short, sorry.]]
|
|
|
Post by Oliver on Nov 18, 2009 16:57:10 GMT -5
((Haha, me too!))
Grown-up stuff was boring sometimes, but not when they got to stay up late and whisper. He wanted to know what kind of boring stuff they were talking about. Anything would be better than listening to Mo cry her head off. Picking his head up, propping himself up with his elbows, he asked innocently, "What kinda stuffs?"
((Ditts.))
|
|