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Post by Cain on Oct 22, 2009 22:33:45 GMT -5
He didn't want to hear how Sai was a good guy, and how much he'd been through. Cain shook his head, busying himself with wiping down the counters. "Yeah, Am.. I don't.." He sighed. "Just don't. I don't want to hear how great this guy is. I just.. stop." He told her, looking up and catching her eyes.
Maybe he was still mad about what went down that day Josslyn and him came to rosewood? Hell, he had every right, right? Sai had hauled off and punched him in the stomach for no reason. Rather getting riled up by it he threw down the rag and crossed his arms. "I lied." He confessed.
"I don't think we can be friends." He told her with all seriousness in his tone. "It's not becuase you chose him, or the fact that you tried to keep Molleigh from me." He told her. "It's the fact that we've changed too much because of what happened Amarie. What's done is done."
He sighed. "Trust me, I don't want to hear it either. But there it is, the truth. Brutal, and honest. Stings like hell to know that the only thing I have in common with you know is Mo--" He bit his lip. "I'm surprised you said yes so easily to the sleepover idea." He confessed softly.
"Why?" He asked, raising a brow at her. "Sai seems to think I'm some dangerous man. You thought so too at one point. Why the change?" He asked.
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Post by Amarie on Oct 23, 2009 18:00:14 GMT -5
"Sorry," she said with a small smile, looking down as soon as he caught her eyes. Was it her fault if she thought so fondly of Sai, wanted everyone to see him as wonderfully as she did? She had felt the same way about Cian before. She bit her lip as she noticed the use of the word 'felt'. Past tense.
She hardened at his words, but shrugged. "Fine," she said, a bit of a bitter icy tinge to her words. If that's how he wanted it... she wasn't gonna come crying after him. "Why surprised? I can't keep her from you. I never tried. It's just... nevermind." she shook her head and sighed. "You know what... PLease don't hate me if I am rethinking the decision to let you see her. I don't think she can deal with it..."
She looked up sharply at his words. "People change, Cain," she said softly, with a bit of edge. She didn't want to get too angry at him, but this whole mess of relationships and feelings was getting to her. He was the one who didn't think they could be friends--so how was the Molleigh thing going to work out then, huh?
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Post by Cain on Oct 23, 2009 18:33:47 GMT -5
"Why surprised? I can't keep her from you. I never tried. It's just... nevermind." she shook her head and sighed. "You know what... Please don't hate me if I am rethinking the decision to let you see her. I don't think she can deal with it..."
He starred at her, his hands grasping at the counter. She knew all the right buttons to push to piss him off anymore. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Don't." He told her, biting at his lip. "You contradicted yourself, Amarie. You have tried to keep her from me, and just because I tell you I can't be friends with you, you want to take her away again." His head was down as he talked, not wanting to look at her as a tear slid down his cheek.
"I work day and night just to pay for a place I don't have yet... All of it for her. Everything I do... I do it for her..." He sniffed, licking at his lips. "People change, Cain," His head shot up. "Damn right they do, Amarie." He snapped. "Look at you." He pointed, walking around the bar. "Once so kind, so gentle and sweet... I don't know you anymore..." He confessed.
"What happened?" He asked, shaking his head. "I know I died... but I'm still the same. Irish blood still run through me veins. I'm still the same guy you fell for once upon a time... How can..." He shook his head, not wanting to continue his sentence. "Nevermind."
He leaned against the bar, his muscles tight. "Do it... take her away. Apparently I deserve this punishment. Omni was right.. I'd regret coming back to be with you.." It slipped his mouth before he could stop it. He quickly looked over at her.
"I didn't... I mean..."
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Post by Amarie on Oct 23, 2009 18:53:08 GMT -5
"It's not just that. Maybe you were right--maybe I did change. Maybe I agree with Sai now." she continued to look away from him. Truthfully, she hadn't wanted it all to be like this. But really... not all of it was her fault. She hadn't seen it before, but... And what was THAT supposed to mean? 'Once so kind, so gentle and sweet..' Was she something else now? She hadn't felt her personality change or anything... But apparently he saw something different.
At his words about regretting coming back, she sniffled sort of and said, "Iknow what you meant. You meant exactly what you said." And with that, she got up and started to head out the door--she didn't want to talk to him, especially if he regretted ever coming back. Over her shoulder, she called, her voice breaking slightly, "Well you could say you got one good thing out of it. You got your little girlfriend."
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Post by Cain on Oct 23, 2009 18:59:53 GMT -5
"It's not just that. Maybe you were right--maybe I did change. Maybe I agree with Sai now. I know what you meant. You meant exactly what you said. Well you could say you got one good thing out of it. You got your little girlfriend."
He quickly walked up behind her, grabbing her hand and twirling her around to look at him. "Your wrong." He told her. "Everyone says something in the heat of anger they don't mean, Amarie. It happens. I didn't mean it. I don't regret it, and yeah. I am thankful for Josslyn. Gives me another reason to go on throughout the day besides just Molleigh." He told her.
"Put yourself in my shoes for once instead of trying to always see through Saikoro's eyes." He starred at her. "I lost EVERYTHING that meant anything to me. In one entire day, within minutes... it was all gone. Now I'm grasping to hang on to something I know I have a right to... You expect me to just let go?" His brows narrowed.
"I'll never let go. I'll never give up until Molleigh knows the truth."
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Post by Amarie on Oct 25, 2009 15:17:25 GMT -5
So Josslyn and Molleigh were the only things that kept him going through the day? So Am was nothing to him, was she? She could deal with that. She didn't need him to get through her day either--she had Sai, Molleigh, Addy, and Shay and even the dog to help her with that. They were all she needed--Cain should just stay away.
But he didn't want to, apparently--he had to make this hard for everyone. "Listen, I'm not saying I'm going to hide everything from her--I need to find the right time to tell her, at a time when she'd understand. I just don't need you around her all the time--she is confused enough as it is. The transition from you to Sai was smooth enough--but then she sees you again, but Sai's still there! I don't want her having two dads, not now." Amarie looked down. She hated having to be like this, but he didn't seem to be able to get the way she was thinking.
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Post by Cain on Oct 25, 2009 15:40:20 GMT -5
"Listen, I'm not saying I'm going to hide everything from her--I need to find the right time to tell her, at a time when she'd understand. I just don't need you around her all the time--she is confused enough as it is. The transition from you to Sai was smooth enough--but then she sees you again, but Sai's still there! I don't want her having two dads, not now."
His blood was boiling now. "For christ's sake Amarie!" He shouted. "Would you stop and listen to yourself?" He snapped. "How do you think this is going to be.. five, maybe ten years from now when you work up the balls to tell her that you left her dad, and told him not to come around?" He asked, anger rising.
"You think she'll understand? You think she'll be okay with that?" He asked, his hands on her arms to make sure she didn't walk away. "News flash. She's not going to be happy. She's going to grow up thinking Sai is her dad. Then all of a sudden, he won't be? She's going to blame both of us for not sitting down and working this out!"
His heart was racing, and he was losing control of his anger. "I'm not saying that Sai shouldn't be in her life. I'm not saying that. He's with you, and will be for as long as he wants to be. But have you taken the time to think that maybe having two dads would be good for her?" He shook his head. "Of course not, I'm asking too much of you right? Too much of your day to just drop her off, right? Too much wasted time of you and Sai's time together, right?" He glared at her.
"She'd be doubly loved. Having two dads isn't a bad thing, Amarie."
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Post by Amarie on Oct 26, 2009 17:14:48 GMT -5
"I know exactly what I'm saying! And if you have a way that won't confuse her, that won't make her unhappy, I'd like it if you shared it with me. I just want the best for her--and I really don't think it would be having two dads!" She was angry too, and almost shouting. She sort of regretted fighting with him like this, but that didn't really stop her all too much.
"And two dads being good for her? How is she going to feel, when she realizes everyone else only has one? She's going to ask me--and that'll probably be in just a few years--why! And how am I supposed to tell her that I was an irresponsible teenager and got pregnant at seventeen, before I was married and before.. before I had fully grown up?! It's not something she should have to deal with then! I will tell her, when the time is right, and I will make sure she understands." Amarie closed her eyes for a second and sighed. Emma had been right--that age was not one to have a child. She wasn't ready for it then, and she certainly wasn't ready for this now and that in the future. Why did she have to have been so stupid?
"I would not hesitate to do that if I thought it was something that would be good for her. I'm not saying she can't grow up with you around her, but as a dad... that's the part I'm not so sure about. Having two dads isn't all a good thing, either."
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Post by Cain on Oct 26, 2009 17:21:28 GMT -5
He stood silent, his jaw tight as he let go of her. "Do what you want." He whispered harshly. "When she gets older and asks you what happened, you can tell her the ugly truth. That you were just trying to save her the heartache of knowing her own father." His head turned, glaring at her.
"You don't get how this is not only affecting her, but me, and you, and our separate relationships as well." His heart was nearly broken in two. "It kills me to know that you don't want her to know me. I'm her rightful father, not him, not anyone else. I am the one who got you pregnant, Amarie. Don't forget that."
He stared at her a long moment before shaking his head. "Just get outta here Amarie." He said, pointing at the door. "God knows you don't want to spend another minute with me so just go."
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Post by Amarie on Oct 26, 2009 17:30:32 GMT -5
Couldn't he tell that he wasn't doing this to get him away from her? That wasn't why she had made the decision. She thought it was good for Molleigh. That's all the wanted--the best for her child. And... if this arguement and his hatred was what it took, then... it was something she thought she could sacrifice. She wanted to tell him that he could have Molleigh for a few days each week, or that he could see her... but she didn't want to argue anymore. And strangely enough--she was used to his glare by now. It didn't hurt as much as it used to, to know he despised her for trying to keep their daughter away from him.
"S-she will know you. But.. it will be when i think it is the right time." She whispered, sounding thoroughly as exhausted by this as she was. But she still stood firmly in the belief that this was what was best for the little girl--she didn't think it would change any time soon. ".. I... I won't forget that.Ever." she said, turning for the second time to leave. And she wouldn't. It was probably gonna be a memory she would always have with her. A painfully sweet one.
She was happy to oblige. She nodded stiffly at him as she left, sort of smiling apologetically, though the smile wasn't really a real one. "I.. I guess we won't be seeing each other?" she have stated, half asked as she made her way out of the door.
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Post by Cain on Oct 26, 2009 21:10:33 GMT -5
"S-she will know you. But.. it will be when i think it is the right time."
He turned his back to her, his hands grasping at the bartop as tears threatened to fall. He clenched his eyes shut. How could this be happening? How.. How could something so perfect in the beginning come to this? This... this was worse then Hell... or dying. This was much worse.
".. I... I won't forget that. Ever."
A tear made it's way down his cheek, dropping to land on his knuckle as it turned white from grasping at the bartop so hard. His heart hurt so much right now. It was too much to take. He took in a ragged breath, his knees getting weak.
"I.. I guess we won't be seeing each other?"
He thought she was gone. His knees buckled from under him as he fell to the floor. He allowed the tears to come fully now. He gripped at the stool closest to him, pulling himself closer to it as the sobs wrecked havoc on his thin body.
The sound of the bell above the door went off. "Cain?" He wiped at his face as he looked over. Brianna walked in, holding her bear close to her chest as her thumb was in her mouth. "Brie.. honey.." He sniffed. "What are you doing here?
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Post by Brianna on Oct 26, 2009 21:17:29 GMT -5
She was tired of staying at that place. Stupid daycare. Stupid Alexander and his stupid.. stupidness. She was mad, and there was no one else she wanted to talk to than Cain. She opened the door, with no toruble. Nearly knocking into Amarie. She eyed her as she walked past, her eyes landing on Cain who was on the floor. " Cain?" She called out softly around the thumb in her mouth as she hugged her teddy close. Were those tears on his face? " Joo cyin'..." She frowned, removing her thumb from her mouth as she walked up to him. "Brie.. honey.." He sniffed. "What are you doing here?"" Alex was bein' a meanie to me.." She pushed out her bottom lip as she walked closer. She sat on the floor before him, her tiny hands reaching out to his tear stained face. " Why joo cyin'? Was sombudy bein' meanie to joo too?" She asked as she scooted closer. She positioned herself in his lap, taking his hands and wrapping them around her. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. " Dun worry.. dun cy.." She said softly. " Pease dun cy.."
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Post by Amarie on Oct 27, 2009 9:56:12 GMT -5
As she headed out the door, a small little girl almost ran in to her. She stopped, curious. And then she heard him crying. She hadn't meant to hurt him like that--but, but.... She slapped herself inwardly. She was so... mean! What was she doing? She had made him cry... or rather, her decision had made him cry? She didn't know which. She felt really guilty. She didn't head out the door, but let it swing shut.
She didn't dare approach right away--who was this girl, anyway? She seemed to know Cain. She seemed to know him pretty well. And she seemed about five--couldn't b his daughter... At least, she hoped not. She heard the girl ask, in her cute little voice, '"Why joo cyin'? Was sombudy bein' meanie to joo too?" She felt even worse, if it was possible.
She decided that maybe she should work this out with him in a better way. Maybe she had been harsh.. maybe she had only been caring about herself? But she had been telling the truth.. about wanting the best for Molleigh. But he said they couldn't be friends! Ugh, this was confusing. She shook her head slightly to clear the unwanted thoughts, and waited for him to come up, so she could...
So she could what? Apologize? Laugh at him? Run away? She didn't even know what she was going to say!
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Post by Cain on Oct 27, 2009 17:52:51 GMT -5
"Why joo cyin'?"
Cain shook his head, his arms wrapped around the little girl. "Because I'm very sad." He answered softly. His head was still hung low. No knowledge of Amarie still being there. How could he rightfully explain this to Brianna without trying to make it not hurt so much?
"Was sombudy bein' meanie to joo too?"
He took a deep breath and sighed, shaking his head. "No.." He wiped at his face, and put on a soft smile for her. "My heart hurts because I can't see someone." He told her softly. Hoping that would suffice her curiosity for now.
"Dun worry.. dun cy.." She said softly. "Pease dun cy.."
His head finally moved to look up. And to his amazement, Amarie stood before him and Brianna. Words couldn't express what he was feeling at this particular moment. He wiped at his runny nose. "Come on. Lemme up." He sniffed, pushing her off his lap. Once on his feet, he held out his arms, taking her into them and holding her close.
"Amarie." He said softly. Not knowing what else he could possibly say
Brianna looked between the two of them as she placed her thumb in her mouth, her head resting on Cain's shoulder. "Hi." She spoke tenderly to Amarie. "I sowwy." She offered, talking about walking into Amarie a moment ago. "Cainie.." She lifted her head, looking at him as she placed one of her hands on his cheek. "We gos to da parks day?"
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Post by Amarie on Oct 28, 2009 13:31:18 GMT -5
Because he was very sad. That made her very sad. She didn't want him to be sa,d she hadn't meant to hurt him like this--but then again, she hadn't meant to 'ditch him' after he died, and she sure hadn't meant to have Molleigh. But things happened. And even if she couldn't fix everything.. she could try, right?
His heart hurt. Because of her. Because she would not let him see someone he loved. How could she not feel bad about that? She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she had Molleigh with her. The girl would make things right with her limited speech. And plus, Molleigh was great with hugs. But she wasn't here. So she had to hug herself.
She bit her lip as he said her name. There was so much she wanted to say to him--but she didn't think she could do it now. She smiled at the cute little girl. "Hey," she said softly. Glancing at Cain, she once more headed to the door. "I--I will see you later," she said, hoping he would notice the change. She would try and see him later--when she got up the courage to apologize and figure out what she must say to him.
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Post by Cain on Oct 28, 2009 13:36:12 GMT -5
"I--I will see you later,"
Now she was leaving? Cain's brows furrowed as he plopped Brianna down on the bar top. "Let me walk you out." He offered softly, holding the door open for her. Despite the arguments, and what might have been said. He had loved her, and that just didn't change over night. He'd always love her.
He took in a breath of the fresh air, his arms crossed over his chest, his head down as he leaned against the building. "You think maybe I can.. atleast take her tomorrow? Say my goodbyes?" He asked softly, his eyes slowly trailing to catch hers.
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Post by Amarie on Oct 28, 2009 13:42:06 GMT -5
"Thanks," she said quietly, glad that this meeting might not end all too horribly. Because she loved him still too--just, she was married. And not to him. So it would be wrong to lead him on or anything. Because they obviously couldn't be together--unless Sai died, of course, she though sarcastically--and anyway, they couldn't linger on this past, could they? He needed to do whatever he wanted with Josslyn, and she.. She could live with and love Sai.
"Oh, uh, sure. And... maybe, if um, I were you, I wouldn't say goodbyes just yet." She smiled slightly at him, before turning down the street to go back to Rosewood.
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Post by Cain on Oct 28, 2009 13:45:22 GMT -5
"Oh, uh, sure. And... maybe, if um, I were you, I wouldn't say goodbyes just yet."
Confusion for a moment, but it subsided. In it's wake was a soft growing smile as he closed his eyes. Thank you Amarie. He sighed, smiling softly as he walked back into the bar. "Brie. How about that trip to the park?"
Brianna's smile widened as she held out her arms. "YES!" She giggled. "Yes pease, Cainie!"
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