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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 20:19:19 GMT -5
This place brought back so many--too many--memories. Spying the bench--that one particular bench--she veered Oliver away from it, to go play somewhere else. He seemed quite content to have Luna had his heels, and with Mo with Cian today, she figured she'd have some quality time with the boy whom she had grown slightly apart from during this whole ordeal. It hit her hard around the time Mo was going to be born that he was growing extremely attached to Cian, and that she was now number two in his life. God, it hurt. Ollie settled down a little ways away from the playground, not wanting to interact with the other children just yet. He concentrated on Luna, but Emma could see his eyes occasionally flickering over toward herself. Was he hoping she wasn't watching so closely? Well, that was too bad. With all of this Lucifer business, she wasn't taking her eyes off of him.
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Post by Dean on Nov 17, 2009 20:28:58 GMT -5
Logan was pulling at his arm, and for a moment; he thought if his son pulled any harder, it'd come right off. " Daddy.. 'ook at da sweengs!" He exclaimed, pointing before he let go and ran off. Dean sighed softly, content to have things back to normal. Or as normal as they could get. Truth was, he hadn't been sleeping too well. He kept with his stories of not remembering Hell, and what it was like. But, it was all a facade. He knew, he remembered. The days that ticked by so slow, and yet so damn fast. The pain.. god the siring pain he felt every single day from torture... " Logan.. not too far." He yelled after him. Logan stopped, and looked back, beaming a smile at his dad. God, he loved this boy. To an extent it hurt at times, and just thinking of what him and Harmony went through.. It killed him. Harmony was happy to oblige to stay home with Ray, while the boys had some one on one time alone at the park. He needed it, and so did Logan. The reaction he got from his son when he walked back into the house.. left a permanent scar on his soul. The tears, the hugs, the 'never-wanting-to-let-daddy-out-of-my-sight-disorder' that went on for days. The poor boy was scarred, and it was all his fault.
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 20:34:02 GMT -5
Picking his head up, Oliver heard the familiar squeal of a friend, and spotting Logan quickly, he stood up, ready to greet him. It had been a long time since he saw Uckle Dee--the last he saw of him was when Mo was born, and he had never come out of the room...
Memories of that night brought chills to both mother and son. Emma, too, heard the more than audible little boy, and stood up, wondering what exactly she would say to Dean. Their meeting when Harmony and Sam had been there had been...awkward. Mostly silent on her part. What could she say? "Thanks for saving my life; I owe you one"? "You're an idiot 'cause my daughter brought me back and you did that for nothing"? "Dean, I love you, I can't ever repay you"?
Oliver spoke for her first, waving to the two boys, summoning them over.
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Post by Dean on Nov 17, 2009 20:58:22 GMT -5
"Daddy, Ollie!" He yelled at him, pointing over to his friend as he took off running towrds him. Dean stood still a moment, looking around to find Emma. She was standing closer to the playground, slwoly, he walked closer.
He smiled down at Ollie, crouching down to look at him. "Hey bud." He ruffled the boy's hair as Logan looked over at him, grabbing at his shirt. "I'm not going anywhere, Logan." He reassured him, smiling as he ruffled his hair as well. "I'm just going to go talk to Aunt Emma."
Logan was silent a moment, before giving a faint nod. "Kay." Dean smiled once more before walking off and standing beside Emma. "Hey." He offered up. When did things get awkward between them? Then his head turned, and he realized.. This was the place. "Ooh.." He let out a low whistle as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Awkward.."
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 21:08:36 GMT -5
Rushing up to them, leaving his mother behind, Oliver planted a tight hug to Dean's leg before greating Logan with the obligatory high-fives and screams of delight to see his lifelong friend again, gesturing for him to come play with him and Luna by the swing set. It made Emma nervous to see him wandering off more or less by himself, but she figured as long as she kept him in eye and earshot, he would be fine. Hopefully.
She cleared her throat before nodding. "Hey." Awkward? Maybe. Allowing a stiff, guilty smile, she chose not to verbally respond to that comment. Taking in a long breath, she felt herself start to be at a loss. Say something, Em. This man gave his life for you. His life. His wife, his children, himself...
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Post by Dean on Nov 17, 2009 21:13:27 GMT -5
Logan laughed loudly as they went running around, Luna chasing them and getting closer every second. He stopped suddenly, and looked back at his daddy, making sure he was still there. Seeing him standing there next to his Aunt Em-Em, was good enough, he supposed. "Wat we gonna do?" He asked, looking back at Oliver.
"Hey."
He smiled, beaming a smile that, to most, hadn't been seen in months. ' Say something, Em. This man gave his life for you. His life. His wife, his children, himself...' His head tilted a moment before he looked down, holding in a soft laugh. He shook his head. "Some things never change, huh?"
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 17, 2009 21:19:30 GMT -5
Her face went into her hands and she let go of a groan, trying to laugh at herself and his ability to read her mind. This was one of those times she remembered he might be better off dead, 'cause if he didn't stop using his telepathy, she was going to kill him. Picking her head up with a smile, she shook her head. Sometimes she thought it'd be better if people kept their knowing her thoughts to themselves. It was embarrassing. "So I'm hard on myself--big deal," she snuffed, sticking out her tongue playfully.
Emma's smile fell immediately. "You can't say I'm wrong, though," she added obstinately, a touch of a regal sense to her voice. Her eyes drifted back to the boys.
Was she angry with him? For a minute, she thought she might be. It was stupid of him to give up his life in the first place, because it wasn't him that brought her back, and because it just gave her more reason to be in debt to him. He was slowly killing her from the inside out. How much more was he going to put on her until she finally said she couldn't be in his life anymore?
He was too damn nice. It bugged her.
Biting her lip, she meekly turned back to Dean. "Thank you." Though that didn't suffice for giving up his life for her.
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Post by Dean on Nov 17, 2009 21:26:03 GMT -5
"So I'm hard on myself--big deal,"
He perked a brow at her antics, and mimicked her with his lips and scrunched up face. "So I've heard." He added, leaning in a bit, his eyes never leaving Logan. "But hey, who isn't." He shrugged, a smile crossing his face as he looked over at her.
"Thank you."
He shook his head. "You just can't let it--" A flash of his time in hell, stopped him in mid-sentence. He closed his eyes a moment, and shook his head. "Mm." He rubbed at his forehead a moment, and continued. "Can't let it go, can you?" He flashed a smile at her. "I was selfish, and stupid, and half the people I know either want to thank me, or kick my ass." He added. quickly.
"I just wanna.." He sighed slightly. "Focus on being a father, a husband, a friend, and colleague."
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 16:51:37 GMT -5
Folding her arms, offended inside the facade she put on to divert his attention, Emma shrugged. "Guess I can't," she conceded. Her face softened when he continued. Averting her eyes back to him, she dropped her arms. "Selfish?" she echoed, wishing he would elaborate more on that. To prompt him, she added, "I think the least selfish thing you can do is give up your life for someone else."
True, she did want to give his face a good pounding for being so quick to actions, but she didn't expect him to be any other way. Still...
Swallowing, she dropped the subject for now, knowing he must still be sensitive about it. Hell... Emma nodded. "Right."
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Post by Dean on Nov 18, 2009 17:10:44 GMT -5
"Selfish?" she echoed, wishing he would elaborate more on that. To prompt him, she added, "I think the least selfish thing you can do is give up your life for someone else."
His head dropped, knowing all too well Emma wouldn't let it go that easily. "Yes, selfish." He replied. "I wasn't thinking about Oliver, Cian or Maura when that all went down. How'd they'd miss you.. I was only thinking that I couldn't.." He took a deep breath.
"That I couldn't possibly do this without you." There he said it. He ran a hand down his face, and shook it softly. "Ya know, sometimes I think we're some fucking cowards.. Always going to each other when we have a problem instead of the people who love us the most.. But then I start thinking.. Why is that such a bad thing?"
"Right."
He sighed. Right. He licked at his lips as his eyes watched Logan trip over something and land, face first, into sand. "Logan.." He couldn't help but chuckle as he went rushing out to help him. "You okay?" He asked, picking him up and setting him firmly on the ground.
"I gots san' in my mouth, Daddy." He made a face, opening his mouth. Sure enough, there was sand in his mouth. Dean chuckled. "C'mon, let's get you some water to wash that out."
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 17:18:37 GMT -5
Letting out a loud sigh, she put a hand on her hip, shifting her weight. "Listen. I didn't even know if Maura was going to make it out alive, let alone if she'd miss me. You didn't do anything selfish in any light, any way, or any shape." As he trailed off, she stopped short, letting him finish without any pressure from her.
Emma's brows pulled together and she stared at him solidly, never taking her eyes off of his. "I couldn't possibly do this without you." That...that wasn't true. And what was "this"? She wished he would explain things with at least a bit more detail. But, this was Dean. She wasn't getting any more than what he was gonna give.
"Ya know, sometimes I think we're some fucking cowards.. Always going to each other when we have a problem instead of the people who love us the most..."
Her words got caught in her throat and she immediately looked away, mouth hanging open as if she wanted to say something, but nothing coming out. "We?" she confirmed, praying he didn't mean just him and her--maybe he meant everybody. But, no, then it wouldn't make sense...
Shit.
She mentally thanked Logan when he took a face plant into the sand, because it gave her some time to think without Dean hovering in her thoughts or over her shoulder, pestering her for an answer. Oliver came scampering up to her, and she knelt down by him, drawing a hand over his hair.
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Post by Dean on Nov 18, 2009 17:27:37 GMT -5
"Eet tas' naaasty, daddy." Logan muttered, trying to spit it out as they neared one of the diners across the street. Dean shook his head. "I know, hold on." He did his best to hold in his laughter as he walked up to the bar section. "Is it possible I can get a water so my son and wash out some sand from his mouth?" He asked.
"Sure, one second." Dean tapped on the bartop, looking down at his son. "Gotta be more careful, huh?" Logan looked up at him, a sickening look on his face. Dean smiled, thanking the woman as she returned with the glass. "Come on." He told Logan, leading him back outside.
"Here, take the water in your mouth and swish it around and spit it out on the sidewalk." He told him. Logan quickly obliged, spitting it out a moment later. "Once more." Dean chuckled, ruffling his hair. "Bet'er?" Logan asked, opening his mouth to show him. "Much." Dean smiled, taking the glass and walking back inside, with Logan at his heels.
"Thanks for that." He told her, handing back the glass, and a five dollar bill. "Keep the change." He reached down, grabbing Logan's hand as they walked back outside and across the street. Logan sighed as they neared Emma and Oliver. "All bet'er."
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 17:33:43 GMT -5
How was it possible that he felt the same way about them as she did? That only meant that she was even more right than she thought. They went to each other instead of those who loved them the most...
So, he didn't love her the most? Emma shook her head at that thought. Of course he didn't love her the most--that would be wrong. She didn't want him to love her the most. She wanted Cian to love her the most, as she loved Cian. But...did that mean he didn't love people equally? Fuck, why was it so complicated?
Emma chuckled when Logan came back and nodded, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "Good. Sand doesn't taste too good, huh?" She pulled a face to indicate the yuckiness.
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Post by Dean on Nov 18, 2009 17:45:21 GMT -5
"Good. Sand doesn't taste too good, huh?"
Logan shook his head as he leaned against Dean's legs. "No, it naaasty." He said, wrinkling his nose to show how much he didn't like it. "But, Daddy fix eet." He grinned, looking up at Dean. "Joo pay wit Ollie and me?" He asked, tugging on the hem of his shirt.
"In a few." He replied softly, laying his hands on Logan's shoulders. "Why don't you and Ollie and Luna go play, and then me and Aunt Emma will come join you in a few." He told him, tapping him slightly to get him to go.
Logan was resistant, not wanting to leave him. It seemed everytime he left Daddy, he disappeared. He starred up at Dean, unsure. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He told him with a smile. "Now go on, go play."
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 17:49:37 GMT -5
As if his hopes to go back and play had summoned Dean's gesture, Oliver tugged gently on Logan's hand, trying to pull him back to the sandbox. He wanted to get back to playing. They could build a city with castles and people and wagons and pretend to be dinosaurs in the town. Or, anything Logan wanted to play. He just wanted to get moving again.
"Oliver, let Logan go on his own," Emma removed her boy's urgancy softly, showing that she wasn't at all angry with his eagerness. "He'll play when he's ready."
Dean's comments were really annoying her now, having been sitting in the front of her mind for too long.
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Post by Dean on Nov 18, 2009 18:06:30 GMT -5
Logan blinked a few times as Oliver tried to drag him off to play again. He took a step away from Dean, and looked back at him, smiling softly. "Kay." He nodded, lighting tapping Oliver's shoulder before running back to the sandbox. But this time, he was careful when he stepped inside of it. No way was he gonna eat sand again!
Dean smiled softly, placing his hands in his jeans, as his head turned to look at Emma. "S'that bothering you too?" He asked lightly. "What I said? 'Cause it's the truth, right?" He pushed on, wondering what she was thinking...
Logan plopped down in the sand, picking up on the shovels and started moving the sand around. "Cas'le." He told Ollie. They could build a huge sandcastle!
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 18:11:35 GMT -5
A hard, deathly angry grip took hold of Emma's chest and it took all her strength to keep from lashing out at him for tormenting and prodding at her like this. And for God's sake, he was doing it on purpose! Feeling tested, Emma let out a sigh, knowing it was probably better not to reply.
"'Cause it's the truth..."
Why was the truth so hard to swallow? She hated admitting that she was a coward. That she could never lean on anybody else, even when she wanted to believe that she did. She was feeding herself lies.
---
Beaming, Oliver was happy that Logan still wanted to play with him. He liked Logan. He was a good friend. Nodding, he started on piling the sand into the pails with a blue shovel. "Yes, yes," he agreed anxiously, turning over the pail and starting their kingdom. "Cassle. An' we be knights? Or dwagons? What joo wanna be, Lo-Lo?"
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Post by Dean on Nov 18, 2009 18:20:01 GMT -5
She was silent. Nothing new, well to him anyway. It'd been like this for as long as he'd known her. When she didn't like something, or didn't want to hear it, she'd shut him out. Silent treatment. He took in a deep breath and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.
His eyes trailed over to look at her as she stood there. He kept in a laugh that wanted to escape, so it made a weird noise, and for some unknown reason, he brought up his right leg, and leaned over towards her. Off balance, he slammed into her side. Not too hard, of course. But it would get her attention, atleast.
--
Logan nodded excitedly as he grabbed one of the old dump truck toys. Piling the dirt in the back, he wound it around, dumping it at the front of the castle Oliver had started to build.
"Cassle. An' we be knights? Or dwagons? What joo wanna be, Lo-Lo?"
Logan gave a soft shrug, never having really thought about Dragons and Knights much. He was more of a Cowboys and Indians boy. Guns, and arrows. He smiled brightly as he added a side addition. "A dwagon. Wat joo wanna be, Ollie?"
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Post by Emma Lawrence on Nov 18, 2009 18:26:37 GMT -5
And this time, she was doing it on purpose. But so was he! It wasn't fair that the truth was so difficult to endure, and that he was so easily pointing it out, as if he had readily accepted it with open arms. It wasn't so easy for her--he didn't seem to understand that. First Cian was telling her she was a coward for always going to Dean, and now Dean was saying the same thing upfront. Fuck.
"Hey!" she let out an instinctive cry as he collided with her, and she was thrown off balance, almost falling over, but catching herself before she went toward the ground. "You're just...impossible sometimes," she snapped, trying to hold back the smile.
---
He held up a shovel nobly, putting a hand over his heart as if he was taking an oath of honor. "I be a knight! Dey has horsies to ride an' shiney fings." He nodded, liking the contribution Logan had made to their kingdom. "We keep buildin'. What we make nows?"
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Post by Dean on Nov 18, 2009 18:31:20 GMT -5
"Hey!"
"Hey!" He mimicked her with a grin. Of course, the all time favorite of his was teasing Emma. "You're just...impossible sometimes," He shrugged, looking at her. "OH MY GOD!" He shouted, a laugh following as other parents turned to look at them. "Is that a smile I see coming through? Oh, oh.. look at that, it is!" He teased, hitting her slightly with his elbow.
--
"I be a knight! Dey has horsies to ride an' shiney fings." He nodded, liking the contribution Logan had made to their kingdom. "We keep buildin'. What we make nows?"
"Ya, but da dwagons, dey can fly!" Logan giggled as he continued to build onto the castle. He stopped, looking at it with his head tilted to the side. "A..." His mouth twisted and turned, something he learned from his daddy. "A bidge?"
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